insanity going through my mind in time twice.
i dont know what this phrase is suppose to mean but it just got through my head when i thought of blogging .
well recent issue ` been quite awhile since i last blog =/
well i got a b4 for my malay 'o' lvl paper. Not surprising though i aim for a b3 because for every paper i took i fall in the range for b4 it wont go up nor down this has been constant since last year...
well dance has been alright been studying for my ss prelim though a lil but i seem to recall more when i see the question instead of memorising... i dont know but each time i sit down and look at a history or ss question i clear my mind and i will be able to recall most of what i study last and this year... and i will start to jot down whatever come into my mind.. and surprisingly my seq would do good but if i try the memorising way i would fail terribly -_-...
besides that though im quite pissed easily these days i tend to forget it in the next few hours.. i guess im a vulnerable person. when i think of the bad time certain ppl treat me including my own father and friends as much as i want to contain the hate i cant.. theres a huge part of me chucking the hate aside totally making me oblivious to the hates.. i guess im a weird person though i forgive people easily also funny though miss sharizan told me its a good thing but to me im absorbing to much pain and just past it out like any other normal thing..
well not to name who .. this person likes that person and that person thinks this person like someoneelse but that person get all work up jus for this other person but not to this person. LOL ok i dunno its my fren who tell me this whole long story which i cant figure out??
im having fever right before my prelims and when i go to the doctor the doctor only took less den 5 min to check me up... and prescribe me 4 types of medicine.. after eating it i felt abit better and today my whole body is aching and i feel lethargic though my fever has gone down .. i receive quite a few msgs from my fren telling me to have a good rest thanks for the concern :) to name a few . jian howe veronica and wendy hahas.
i have alot of things kept within me i only can express it to myself..
my mum is in a bad plight now i pity her.. for leaving her for my dad but its for a good cause.. i want to faster earn my own money and support some for my mum.. i really wish my mum and dad didnt get a divorce... i realise i love them alot though i mention a few times i hate them but its a moment of impulse.. i love my brothers too when my younger brother came to my grandma house yesterday i quickly hugged him hahas thinking his still a kid when his already pri 5.. surprisingly he hugged me and told me "brother i miss u" hahas been 4 months since i last seen him..
basically i love my family,friends and everyone . im willing to do anything for them even to lose my life it will be a good purpose in my life .
though a few time i yearn for love im beginning to feel let it come and go now though i feel accursed. im fine with it. as long the people ard me is happy im happy . im still in love with this person for almost 2 years already though i just keep it within myself and a small pool of friends . i guess it will just be within me for the rest of my life. i do not want to ruin our friendship . though i feel breatheless at times nobody would listen to me i would jus sit down and tears roll down in my heart. i noe its not easy but i've endured more then this before..
my smiles are not always cheerful . but i will try not to ruin people mood with my own mood .
im currently listening to mj's song on veron blog..
"Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me..."
i rmb when i was arnd 4-5 yrs old i would sit down in front of the tv and play a tape recording of michael jackson songs which my mum have. i guess my life is not as bad as mj. i guess thats the little bit i should be happy about myself.
come and go as everybody row,
life is there and poof in flare.
i've been hearing funny phrases in my mind thats why i type it out.. sorry.
up till here i would blog.
i hope one day there would be something surprising in store for me though my hope is not high.
[Style No' Nizzle] Normie...
rained at 9:58 am
